The Lord Answers

Not in the way I way I want him to mind you.

Today has been rough.  Not the roughest by far but rough. Basically things just keep building upon one another and then toppling over. But I didn't come here to write a blog post about how hard MPD is and how badly I want to give up, even though all those things are true at this moment.  I wanted to just mentionhow God answers.

Last night I went with our high school seniors to the youth group night at one of the ministries on Mizzou's campus.  One thing that was mentioned was not all our thoughts are our own.  That's why we need to take them captive and judge whether they are from us or not.  So when I was getting more and more and more frustrated with how today was going I stopped and thought it through.  And the ones I singled out were the ones telling me to quit.  Which led me to thinking about the whole "curse God and die" thing in Job (a. bad advice b. my thought process can be a little dramatic).

Well just because I isolated the lies in my head didn't mean things got easier.  They got harder (the normal progression of things, really). But I kept coming back to Job. One thing that thinking about Job helped was that he had a harder day than me.  I haven't lost anyone, any property, animals, health, etc. Just patience and a whole lot of energy and optimism.

So I am lamenting my lot in life, "Why did God make this so hard if he called me to this" etc.  Then in pops this thought, you must have done something wrong for God not to make this easy on you. Hold up. That is an exact opinion of one of Job's friends when they're trying to "help" him.  Take every thought captive, remember?

So I pull up Job on my computer (instead of getting a physical bible because mine are all packed) and went to the chapter that starts "The LORD Answers Job." First off God answers Job out of a WHIRLWIND. If you live in CoMo, have you seen the weather today? It looked like whirlwind weather. No, thank you.  But then God goes and is God. I love and hate when he does that...like when He calls us dust in James.

Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
Dress for action like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.
Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?

God continues this until Job promises silence (good move) and then God challenges Job to adorn himself in dignity, majesty, glory, and splendor. As well as practical things like drawing a Leviathan out with a fishhook (my favorite).  But then Job does where I feel I am at now.  Job confesses and repents.  We know from the previous 41 chapters that Job is righteous man and has really done nothing wrong but what Job has done wrong, and what I have struggled with today, is putting words and thoughts in God's mouth that were not his. And trying to fathom the unfathomable. This is what Job says:

I know that you can do all things,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
‘Hear, and I will speak;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.’
I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
but now my eye sees you;
therefore I despise myself,
and repent in dust and ashes.

"Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."  Whenever I get frustrated and utter the words "Why'd God make this so hard if he called me to this" I call in to question things too wonderful for me.  Things I do not and may never know.  But the Lord can do all things and no purpose of His can be thwarted. So I gather myself up. Confess and repent.  And start this day over.

The Lord answers.  Thankfully, this time it didn't take an actual whirlwind.