Apathy

So this week I have been feeling apathetic. I know it's only Tuesday but still. I just feel tired...tired of work, tired of feeling bored, tired of sitting, tired of standing, tired of the routine I've built for myself. I think part of it is that next week is Cornerstone Festival and in my mind's eye that meant everything will be made better, which is false. Sure it will be fun for the five days I'll be there but it will not bring me perfect joy.
So I turned to God. Unfortunately he had become part of routine. Read bible. Write in journal. Repeat. But today was different. Today while being anxious to do SOMETHING I read through all my blog posts, it clicked.
Today I read Psalm 65 which in essence says to praise. Praise God for the summer heat. Praise God for a final co-op. Praise God for a healthy family, loving friends, for the wide gaps of time I have at my disposal. As I finished writing I sighed heavily and looked around. I wasn't tired. I was joyful. Apathy was a choice and I had changed my mind.
I looked back at a journal entry I earlier in the month. It revolved around Psalm 62 which says:

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

I keep repeating this. Apathy is a choice and in not choosing it and choosing God I can have true joy.