Arise and be, all that you dreamed

The semester is OVER! I survived and passed all my classes.

I have been blessed with trials this semester. At the time it wasn't a blessing but now looking back I'm glad all those things happened. They made me aware of things that I had just written off as idiosyncrasies and not things that needed to be fixed. But the semester God has made it all too clear I need to confront these face to face and fix them. And now seems to be the time he is beckoning me to arise from my fallen position before him.
I was listening to Flyleaf on my way home yesterday and the words from the song Arise just hit me. "Arise and be, all that you dreamed all that you dreamed." Before I knew it I was in tears for no reason. It felt like a call. A call to move forward. It's refreshing and beautiful.
This morning I got a tweet from esvdaily and today was Psalm 139:7-10
"Where shall I go from your spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to the heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me."
And then my friend Amy told me that her best advice is "if the God of the universe is holding me in his hand then he will help me through each of my little storms." And the the coolest thing...what I hoped for my break (courtesy of Solarium) was to be held securely in God's hand.
So where shall I go from here? I will arise and go forward knowing God is holding me.

One more year older and maybe a little more mature...maybe

So today is the big day. As of right now I just turned 21. Am I any where close to acting like an adult...no. Lol. I spent my "birthday celebration" day playing with play-doh, eating Indian food, and watching the Disney Robin Hood. Not all at once mind you. It was really sweet to celebrate it with people who care about me and remembering that there others that care about me that couldn't be with me.

I've been slowly letting God take control of everything which is SO hard for me. Every time I give him something I take something else. I've also realized that this tends to be the root of all my problems. I try to control time and give up focusing on my spiritual self or social self and dip into a depression. I am now trying to work on how I use my time. Balancing my social, spiritual and school life because school isn't all that important, not if the rest of you is at stake.

This weekend has been a sweet example of how I should live. I've been busy finishing a final project for video but I have also been hanging out with friends for my birthday celebration etc but I've been connecting with people and God in a spiritual way as well. I'm so blessed to have so many people praying and supporting me.

So...Happy Birthday to me. I've made it this far and its going to be so cool to see what God continues to do in my life.

Hope Found

So many things have happened in the last month but with all those things I feel like have grown past the hurt and the pain that was trying tear its way into my heart. It's still there and will always be there because that's how Satan is. He isn't someone you can forget about cuz you think you out grew him. In those times you thing you have he comes back and attacks you in the worst way and usually through your pride. Why are we humans so easily felled by pride?
But for now and daily I shall praise God cuz in he my hope is found. So today I ready Psalm 39:7. "But now, Lord who do I look for? My hope is in you." I thought that was really sweet so I put it in a note to myself on my mac. (btw my mac was gone for a week cuz it needed repairs and that taught me a lot about how much I depended on my mac to distract myself.) Then I saw a friend of my had put Romans 5:5 and 2 Timothy 1:7 in a comment on her status when she needed to love by faith. Well I'm sure God planned that out perfectly for me because when read together they read:
"But now, Lord, who do I look for? My hope is in you. And hope does not disappoint us, because god has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline."
AMAZING. I feel like I need to be continuously reminded of this. And so I shall wallpaper this on my mind and heart so that all those sneaky ways that Satan Jerk tries to get in will be for not.
I just have to remember to have my hope in God and nature renews that hope as well. How is it possible to look at the blue blue sky and the orange and yellow falling down all around and not think this is a gift from God?
I feel like this is a start to a new beginning. I registered for new semester yesterday and I have a renewed hope in my heart.

My friend Christie and I and a pumpkin we won.

The beautiful fall and my friend Michelle.

Case of a Missing Identity

So recently I have been having a tough time emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. That's the best "not-in-depth" explanation I can give. I just have been struggling with who I am, how to handle things, and why the amazing beautiful God that I serve loves me.
Over the course of the week I have come across some answers. One of these is pursuing something earlier I would have rather dealt with the pain and disgust than do. That is counseling. I'm blessed with a family with a very positive view of this and with friends and mentors who are in favor of this. And so with the broken bits of my identity I will go to counseling.
But counseling isn't the only answer to my missing identity. Belief in the community around me and trusting in them with where I am truly at is one part of this puzzle of putting myself back together.
The other and probably the most beautiful answer is God's word. Specifically Ephesians 6:10 - 18.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."
I feel like it has been something I've read a hundred times but never truly grasped until now. This is something I need to do continually just like being continually filled with the Spirit as I go on day to day. It will be a hard fight but I will win back my identity from the lies, the brokenness, and the dark.
On my beautiful walk towards this I went on our Cru's Women's Weekend this past weekend and so many reassuring things were said about identity. One thing was Romans 3:23 - 24 being presented in a new way. We are declared acceptable to God freely by his favor through the liberation from our consequences of sin. I am acceptable. Not even good. Acceptable. But he adores me. In Psalm 139 David says that God thinks of me more often than the sand on the sea shore. I am a mere broken human with a missing identity because I have succumbed to lies yet he still thinks of me so much. That just brings joy to my broken heart.
I also got to talk over where I was at with so many women and I have such a wonderful community of fabulous women backing me. Probably the sweetest part of my weekend was my quiet time with God. I used to have this time everyday but now as school has kicked up I have forfeited it in an attempt to stay sane. But until this weekend I didn't realize how much I missed it. I read, listened to wonderful music (my worship playlist), and laid on picnic table as the breeze blew in. Just before it rained. Then I watched rain as I had read beautiful truths in Romans, Psalms, and 1 Peter.

My journal

The rain

The view from the falls.

It was a great weekend and I am so blessed. I will slowly recover my identity and I'm excited to see what God will do with me when that happens.

Me, Shanshan, and Stacey @ WW.

1st week reflections

So I've finished my first week of my Junior year. Btw that in itself blows my mind. This will be my 3rd year of college that means (if all goes as planned) I only have one year after this, 3 semesters after this one and one more internship. All of that is out of my realm of understanding.

I have several funny profs and one really nice one that I'm sure I'll enjoy. I also have one dry but funny prof and one BORING prof. Hopefully it gets better for that class. It's the basics of digital imaging...I wish it wasn't a required class. One of my profs (who is a friend of mine) just got married so I actually won't see him for a while. But all in all this semester will be a lot of work but I think it will be a very interesting one as well.

I have an apartment. My first ever. The first week I moved in it felt hotter than Florida (imagine that). But now it is in the high 60's/low 70's and that is just too cold for the end of the "Summer." I like having my own room. It's already partially a mess with my books and graphic design work but oh well.

The part of the room used for studying...hahahaha.

Coco likes his new home and his new friends.

I finally saw (500) Days of Summer. It was amazing!!!!!!! See it. Right now. You still here? Oh well. See it sometime. It's sweet and really really creative. I also saw Miyazaki's new work, Ponyo. It was cute. Like My Neighbor Totoro cute. So if you into sugary sweet goodness see it.

I am very happy to be back in the CRU community here and I have already started to carve niches out for myself. I have already made one video, organized and ran the slides, and met so many new people. My head could explode but it would be a good explosion (if that is possible). In this time being back I find that I can talk to new people a lot easier. Which is a huge blessing because I used to be so anxious about talking to new people. I'm pretty sure my summer helped me with that. I really like meeting new people and getting them plugged into community.

Even through all this God is definitely teaching me about disappointment. Cuz once again I'm forming my own plans and that dark feeling of disappointment shows up when the don't work out. So it's learning that my plans aren't all that important and that whatever happens is within God's plan and I should be happy with that.

So this week was full of lessons and readjusting and since I like lists here is my list of things for the first week.
1. Open windows + fans = rain flying into room soaking bed
2. When people walk into a room with no desk they assume you're lazy
3. English dubbing does not do justice to Miyazaki films especially when you throw in a Cyrus and a Jonas into the mix.
4. Having roommates who like to cook is a good thing.
5. Rain + flipflops = don't even try to get to class on time.
6. Video editing late into the night isn't conducive to waking up early for a 8:30 class.
7. There is a song on my ipod for every mood.
8. If staring into the sky and walking to class without running into anything was possible I would do it all the time.
9. If you don't want more responsibility don't pull off a 2.5 minute video in 3 days.
10. Some profs are serious when they tell you that their nickname is "King."

Disconnection

So I'm back in much cooler Columbia, MO. It's impressive how much a few degrees can feel infinitely cooler. I do have to say that I am feeling a slight disconnect. I had lunch with friends and there were no hugs...I gave/recieved hugs all the time in Orlando so part of my heart was sad. I'm also feeling a disconnect from God. I've been so exhausted/on the road the past few days and I haven't gotten to just dive into the Word and talk to God. I need to be able to feel connected at all times (I'll blame part of this on my awful laryngitis/sinus cold - I tend to whine and be emotional when I'm sick and then I feel like I'm not honoring God as much as I should).
I had an awesome send off on Thursday with a messy cubicle, a mohawk and a sweet cake.

My cube

My entrance into by goodbye party

My cake. One of the guys I worked with decided on the words because of my rotoscoping.

God really blessed me with sweet people who cared about me and I miss them so much already. I tied up loose ends with video projects and taught my boss how to apply "remove grain" to HD JESUS Film. And my pal the flying monkey came home with me :D I didn't truly cry until I was with my family on Saturday.
Speaking of family they came on Friday and they took a tour of the J Film and were really impressed. It really is a hidden treasure of the ministry world. We went out to sushi with the Warneke's who were kind enough to let me stay with them all summer. We went to Downtown Disney to finish off the night. It was a lot of fun just to spend time with them...wandering. The next day we went for an early morning visit to the beach and to Ron Jon. I'm pretty sure the beach was my brother's favorite part of the whole day. We went to Universal Studios afterwards. It was good to finish off the summer with something touristy. :P

My brother at the beach.

The family at Universal

I was really really blessed by my time at the JESUS Film this summer. I learned so much about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Bible, myself, loving others, and especially I learned a lot about video. I was so blessed by everyone one I had contact with and I pray that this won't be the last time I see them. I would like to thank YOU. To those who have prayed for me. To those who have supported me financially. To those who have read this and laughed with me. I thank you for joining in this journey. It's not over yet. It's just being diverted for a little while. To Ohio. I'm sure it'll be interesting.

Tired thoughts

My final day is today. We are celebrating with lunch, a party, and seeing GI Joe at midnight. Today I filmed stuff for a video for my old youth group and went to a concert with Cassie, this being my last time seeing her this summer.
The video looks good....or what I filmed did. I put it on my computer tomorrow and I'll start editing it and give it to Justin next week. (I heard you read this Justin so this is me letting you know :P) I have officially finished all of my projects (they are not all finished but my part is done). I taught Mikey all the things he needs to know and hopefully all will run without a hitch while I'm gone.
As far as the concert...God blessed me. I enjoyed Closure to Moscow, their whole band was fun to watch. And here's where God was cool. I was telling Cassie how I didn't want to get crushed. The next band was Maylene and the Sons of Disaster and I heard stories of their fans. Also any band that all the members have beards and/or long hair you don't really wanna mess with their fans. Well I didn't want to die before my last day at work and I wasn't in the mood to get pushed around during that show. I, honestly, just said out loud "Oh Lord give me protection." And...for the first time ever I didn't even get touched. A guy ended up behind me, put an arm on either side of me and managed to keep any crazy fans from pushing on me (also blocking most people from touching Cassie as well). So blessed. The show was pretty good. Dallas Taylor yelled in Cassie's face then laughed at her when she turned away. I laughed as well. Emery did a great job and I love Toby, Devin, and Josh so so so much. Josh cracked me up the whole time. They played my fav song from their new CD and a few of my fav old songs, so I was pleased.
I would have pics but I left my camera in Cassie's car cuz I'm scatter brained.
That's all for now. Pics and other stuff later. I'm gonna go retrieve me camera now.

Devin (one of the vocalists for Emery and me.

Josh (the screamer for Emery) and me.

No Coincidences

1 week. This isn't a countdown but yet it's true. A week from this very moment my internship with the JESUS Film will be over. I've been removing grain from the Hi-Def version of the JFilm. It is a SLOOOOOOOW process because Mac + Adobe AfterEffects = slowest rendering time imaginable. In the words of Ryan Reynolds' character in The Proposal "Congratulations, I'm 100." I am also editing footage from a trip Mikey went on to Bolivia around the same time I did. 4 hours of footage put into a 30 min and a 10 min video. My rough cut chopped it down to 47 minutes(took me multiple days to do so but still). It definitely makes me long for Santa Cruz...a lot. There's a shot in the city center and I knew exactly where things were in location to it. I really want to return there some day.
Mikey gave me this project (a) so I didn't run out of stuff to do while he was on vacation and (b) because he knew I had been to Bolivia. Not a coincidence.
But are there really such things a coincidences?
I don't think so. I think when our eyes are truly open it is God revealing something about ourselves or something about his nature to us. God revealed one more thing which I think he wants me to realize before I leave here. He's opened my eyes to several things, 1st was Luke 12:25 - 26 then it was John 10:10. Now it's Jeremiah 1:5.
"'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.'"
God is talking to Jeremiah here, when he's first called to prophecy. Jeremiah tries to come back saying he is too young and God essentially tells him to shut up. I like the nice Godly nice way Jeremiah puts it but still...I'm pretty sure God was telling him to shut his mouth for a second. He follows that with verse 8 saying "Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you." Ok. How many times has God told me this? Do not be afraid. Do not be anxious. And yet, I try to weasel my way back into my shell in my dark corner using excuses like I don't know how to speak well. (I haven't learned from Jeremiah or Moses apparently.) God always interrupts Jeremiah and Moses when they said those things and he does the same for me. But I'm thick headed. I keep up with my excuses. But why? God is with me. He will rescue me. He's a BIG God. And we may be small and insignificant but he cherishes us. He knows us...I'll get to this in a second.
Back to Jeremiah. After God telling him that he is with him and will rescue him he does something outrageous. Ridiculous even. He touches Jeremiah's lips. God TOUCHED his lips. Then said "Now, I have put my words in your mouth." Whoa. I want God to touch my lips. And it could happen but for now I have to lean on the Spirit.
So, I heard this story...and specifically Jeremiah 1:5 twice. In one day. No coincidences. God is trying to make sure that even though I write how he delights in me that I realize that he really does. He knew me before I was even formed. KNEW me. I don't even truly know me. We are a mist, a vapor, and yet... he knows us. And has set us apart. Apart from the world. For his works. He says later in Jeremiah 29:11 '"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He's serious when he says he set us apart.
But wait (you say - in my head-) God is talking to Jeremiah... not me specifically.
Well back to how I heard this marvelous verse. I first Jeremiah 1:5 - 10 from Francis Chan, who put it really well in his book Crazy Love that I will botch up. Essentially he said that not only does God know us but he has set us apart to be a prophet to the nations. And this wasn't just for Jeremiah. It's for us too. There are so many nations in need and we are to go to them. Then I heard the verse again at Cassie's church's high school service, TNT. The youth guy mentioned this part specifically as well saying that nations doesn't just mean to travel all over the world. That nations can be our families... our schools. And we (not just Jeremiah) are called to them. Set apart for them.
So God is talking to me and you (whoever you are reading this.)
No coincidences. God wants my heart on this verse before and as I leave Orlando. I am known. I am set apart. And I am appointed. And that realization of that is just so sweet.

Mist

James 4: 14
"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."
My favorite part of this is the God-like way 'What is your life?' is asked. I have been learning this summer that God really is, you know, God. He's big. He's powerful. And he delights in me. Weird. I read this verse last Saturday (so a week ago) and being compared to mist hit me. We are only on this Earth a little while and then we vanish. At least in God's eyes that's what we're like. Yet he cherishes each and everyone of us. What is up with that? The verse, to me, goes hand and hand with Luke 12:25 - 26 when Jesus asks why are we anxious when we can't do such a small thing like add an hour to our life. Add an hour? A small thing? Who is this guy that can say this? Then I realize through all my thick headedness that he is that same God mentioned in James that says I'm mist yet also says how much he loves me.
My Luke 12:25 - 26 revelation was all in front of my computer watching Brian Deacon (He plays Jesus in the JESUS Film) repeat these verses. Not only is this my favorite scene (the lighting is great in this shot - one of the rare ones) but just those words. Even though it's human Brian Deacon saying them I can just imagine the real Jesus giving me a similar look and asking me: Why be anxious? What is your life?
Now all of this has hit extreme relevance in my life. Right now. Why? Cuz my internship ends in less than 2 weeks. 2 WEEKS! I feel as if I started a new chapter in a new place and I have to return to the old place. I feel my throat tighten and my heart drop into my stomach when I think about leaving. It doesn't help that I have been living on my own, creating a lifestyle for myself, for the last several weeks while I've been house sitting. I guess mostly it's my want to not uproot my life (once again) and just be settled for once but what fun would that be? I must put a bookmark in this chapter of my life to return to later. I pray, earnestly, that I return. And I know even if I don't return to work here I will return to visit.
There have been many kidnapping plans. I won't spoil them because I think several will be tried in less than 2 weeks time. (hint there's milk cartons, duct tape, and a meal once a week involved.)
This week is CSU, so mostly everyone is gone which means we get to have parties. We had a lunar landing party and today we had a field day party. We had to wear shirts or jerseys of our alma mater or fav team. And shocking enough the Ohio/Michigan rivalry found itself down here. 3 of us wore Ohio based shirts and 2 wore Michigan shirts. (One of the IT guys was passing out Michigan shirts and hats to all he could :P) It was hot but it was fun just to stand outside.

JESUS Film Field Day Group

Playing cornhole in the Quad.

Ohio Reps. That and we matched.

I don't really pick sides. Shaking Michigan color pompoms.

Earlier this week I took an excursion to Downtown Disney just for fun. I took silly pictures, ate really good fish and chips, and saw Public Enemies (Wasn't that great. The cinematography was distracting. Depp and Cotillard were great, though.) I'm not going to Disney World while I'm here so I took a picture with me and some "princesses" for a friend of mine. Some parents looked very concerned as I wandered around grabbing princess dolls.

Me and the Princesses...for some reason I could only find "baby" Ariel and Jasmine. Odd.

My most photogenic new friend.

I may be sad that I only have 2 weeks left but I will finish them out with joy because I'm sure God has something great planned with them.

The painful part of being an intern...

...is transitioning into the "leaving" part. I feel like I have been here for AGES when in fact I've only been here for 9ish weeks. I have 3 more weeks and then I depart back home for a few days and then to school.
I said good bye to one of my disciplers. She will be gone for 3 weeks and won't be back until the day after I leave. I had just a great time with her. Lots of good laughs.

Lots of laughs

Lots of good laughs has been the theme for this week. Most people are gone for CSU and so now it's just us crazy people. One of my friends got new contacts and she can't see up close. This resulted in her walking into a tree, me having to read her coupons, and me noticing that the film she cut up to hand to tour guests did not contain Jesus and in fact had some random guy in them.
I had to remind her that Jesus wears white in all/most of the shots and she said the person in the film was wearing white. To which I had to inform her that he had a white beard and was not wearing white.
I love talking with people that are older than me and have really ridiculous senses of humor. It is so much fun. One instance is my boss. His hair is now blue... because he declared today "Blue Day." Another example is one guy who "retired" last year. We went to lunch with him. He and my friend mentioned above were in the front. They're both older than 50, whereas Steve and me in the back are younger...by a lot. They were joking in the front how they were ready to go home to Jesus as we were driving to Quiznos. We had to remind them that we couldn't wait to go home to Heaven but we didn't want to go just yet. Probably one of the scariest/funniest experiences.
At Quiznos we had fun joking about the Michigan and Ohio rivalry. We also had fun with Quiznos trays.

Steve with his thought/speech bubble

In work I am done with my Magdalena edits. I'm kinda glad. I'm now working on the HD version, and some other random projects. The head replacement is still happening as well. :P
I have grown a lot but I will miss this place...a LOT. The next 3 weeks will be full of fun, laughs, and then those dreaded goodbyes.

Oh Florida.

It's begun...

...the exodus of CCCI and JF. If there has been little to no people working this past month there is absolutely no one working now...and even less after this week. It will be an experience.
I had my advisor come by and I was approved (I'm pretty sure) for getting credit for this as an co-op. He seemed overwhelmed. A. CCCI HQ is huge. B. JF spares no expense on its Master Studio equipment C. People are largely welcoming and will love to talk and learn things about you even if you are just there for an hour. I had to talk/guide/entertain him for an hour because he was 3 hours early but it went over smoothly besides that. I had my co-worker from Cleveland chase him down and talk to him. It was quite funny. Unfortunately no flying monkey or light saber fights happened while he was around. Also, the poor guy was doomed for two days of rain while he was in "sunny" Florida but the sun finally showed up on Saturday. So hopefully he gets to enjoy some days on the beach.
I have gotten to talk to some of my friends who just got back from Summer Project and it is so cool to hear how God is working all around the world right now. The stories make you mourn for the way people are living yet be equally joyous for the peoples' lives that are being touched.
As well as having friends coming back, I have friends leaving. For Cru's staff training as well as for Nigeria. A travel team group of women leaves later today and will get back just before I leave. I will see them again but it will be for a short time. It's sad but I know I'll see them again, and if not on this earth, in heaven.
My time here is winding down. One month left. Already thinking about whether or not I'll be back with the Orlando Summer Project next year. It's up to God. But I would love to come back and JF, especially, is willing to be really flexible when it comes to scheduling since next year my brother graduates from high school and I want to be there for that. So we'll see. I'm not going to worry about it right now. :)

Majoring in loitering and minoring in cake

I love my co-workers... a lot.
We've had an increase in deserts around here probably because all of post-production has an addiction to sweet things. (also probably because of all the 4th of July parties lately and leftovers). Well today we had pie. Mostly apple but lots of pie. And what do I hear? Not normal excitement over apple pie but, "Ooo! Second breakfast."
To top it off a light saber fight happened today as well. It started that I threw a flying monkey at one of my co-workers. He responded by whipping out his iphone with his lightsaber app. And in response to that, my other co-worker took off a piece of his cubicle and they had a "lightsaber" fight in between the cubicles. To say I laughed until I cried would be an understatement.
We had a good bye party for two of the travel team guys and there was cake. And "miraculously" all of the post-production guys were there. My co-worker who took apart his cube to make a lightsaber was staring at the cake and said, "I went to school for this." He went one to say, "Yeah you know. I majored in loitering and minored in cake." I will miss them when I leave in a month.

Me at work...notice the flying monkey

Today was hard. Lots of stress but I got through it. It was a trial but I continued through. I realized recently along with this that relying on the Spirit and spending time with Jesus should be about pleasing God. He is pleased just by me existing in a walk with him. I caught myself recently seeing my time with Jesus as a way to appease God so I didn't have a bad day the next day. Albeit...days after I don't have my Jesus time I have trying days but on those days I can blame my lack of time alotted only for Jesus. Like blaming Karma. Which is bad. I should spend time with Jesus, led by the Spirit, because I want to connect with him and hear God's words on a deep and meaningful level.
I recently heard this... "Being hungry for Jesus means desiring a deeper walk with him today than you had yesterday." That is so cool to me. And so challenging...

Incline your ear and come to me...

hear, that your soul may live."
Isaiah 55:3. Probably my uplifting verse of the week. I found it "randomly." My bible flipped open to it after I had just looked at James3:4-6 and felt down about not finding anything really to dwell on in those verses. It's like a father talking to a child. Calming them through the turbulence of life. I wrote about it stating, "Breathe. Relax. Rest in the arms of the Father."
I even drew a picture to exemplify what I was feeling. I want to perfect it. Add some water colors...etc. We'll see. I have been drawing and imagining a LOT lately. Good? Bad? We'll see :P
But along with that creativity comes some craziness. Example: I texted my friend, Ashley, "There be giants in these parts." Because I found giant tea cups. I'm weird therefore I entertain?
Now... wal-mart. You see, I was at wal-mart getting my tire "fixed." You know... the one from the previous post. The one pretending to be flat. Yes. I say pretending. Nothing was wrong with it. All the automotive guys at wal-mart stared at me like I was crazy, spoke rapidly in spanish, and handed me back my keys.
But that night, and here is how cool God is, my travel team friend found that the car she was borrowing from another travel teamer had mostly low/flat tires but she had no tire gauge and no knowledge on how to quickly fix the tires with air. Who had a newly acquired tire gauge and newly acquired speed at the air pump? Well I did from my previous day of craziness. God had a plan for that tire fake-out. I was just surprised at how blatant it was.
Speaking out of how obvious God's beauty is. Here is the amazing looking clouds that threaten to produce every day. The coolest looking clouds on Earth (at least in the US). I'm convinced.

My neighbors think I'm crazy. I stand outside taking pictures of the sky.

At work I have made Jesus headless... is that blasphemous? Well he's headless for now... he'll have a head again and this time it will be the right head. Hopefully not looking like a jibjab cartoon. Most of my coworkers are thrilled with headless Jesus and thinking about marketing it as Halloween version. I'm sure it will go over well. I'm working on a new project that is transcribing CMA(Christian Motorcyclist Association) videos. Soundbooth is supposed to transcribe but Soundbooth + Southern accents = nonsensical words. So I will be fixing that. Tomorrow(later today). On my day off. I will also be working on the revamped bethechangevacations.org website and my co-op report. Fun day. At least there's a potluck at the end of the day and the next day is the 4th.

Yay! Happy Birthday Nation!

Glory, glorious

Week 3 done!
This is going by too fast. I already feel like this is real life and not just a summer that afterwards I will leave and continue school. People will talk about next year and I'll get excited... just to immediately remember that as of right now there is no next year for me with them.
I'm currently working on all sorts of things related to the repackaging of Magdalena... including some very experimental stuff with rotoscoping and frame by frame work. Not sure how successful it will turn out but it is good experience.
I met with two of the women who are helping disciple me this summer and it was so cool how God showed me similar things through both of them. A. I rely too much on myself and need to take more things to God. B. In realizing (A) I must also rely on the Holy Spirit because that is the part of God that he has given us to guide us. Along with this Psalm 6 came up in my bible reading for the week, in which part of it says "the Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer." All of this was very sweet in a time that I realized I was listening to many voices that weren't God, especially in the confidence and insecurity areas of my mind. Prayer is becoming increasingly a more beautiful thing to embrace for me and I have prayed in groups a lot more which puts my heart at ease. Slowly moving what God thinks of me to a higher pedestal than what people think of me.
Along with this one song's lyrics have caught me all week - Empire by as cities burn. "'Cause I was a pharisee, I never saw my need for grace; Then your love came to me stood next to mine, and I saw that I was poor... We are glory, glorious not from what we've done, but being the least." I can't describe what these lyrics have done to my heart this week.
Now for some chronicled events :P. I went to Universal's City Walk and got to see all the iconic signs etc.

Cassie and I in front of the Universal globe

(also got to get Cheesecake Factory cheesecake before hand) The next day I went to the beach with some of the Travel Team from JF.

Me at the beach :D (again)

It was great to solidify some friendships there and just live life and hear great stories of travels from them. That night I decided to go do something for myself and not wait for someone to invite me. And that was to go see a movie at Downtown Disney. I will probably go back to Downtown Disney partially because I walked quickly through it to get to see "UP" in 3D on time :P But "UP" is a super cute movie that I think all need to see.
I went to a church on Sunday that I'm pretty sure I'll return to this Sunday. It's small, the worship was good (almost all songs I didn't know - a first), and the sermon was great. Everyone greeted me almost immediately and I got invited to meet their interns that they have so I have people my own age (have I done that? no. why? internet problems made it so I didn't have their office number. sleep problems made me too exhausted to call anyone but my mom. time conflicts made time impossible to call them.) That is my goal this week! Hopefully their pastor will remember me and pursue me in this. Definitely praying about this! That night went to Cassie's church again for a night of worship. It was great more or less because of the enthusiasm everyone had while praising Jesus. So cool to be a part of.
'Nyways. Recently I have been trying to hang out with the Travel Team a little more but unfortunately a lot have left and will be leaving because of trips and staff training.
And just today I went to De Leon Springs for the hardest working day of my life. (haha)

De Leon Springs

The video team had a retreat today and it was great. The water was freeeeezing. (72 while it was 95 air temp) But it was fun to eat and just hang around with everyone and their families. :) I re-realized that lil kids are very truthful and very inquisitive. (Why are your nails painted green, why not pink? What is that? *point to eyebrow ring*) That and just how silly and peanut m&ms addicted the video team is. I love these guys... Why is this only a summer?

Things learned thus far...

So I have completed my second week. So I thought, "Hey, let's reflect on things that you've learned these past weeks." So here they are.

Things learned:
1. Nerdtastic is a word.
2. Interns are targets of unnecessary harassment because everybody likes you.
3. Projectiles can be made out of anything.
4. Hearing Jesus' words day after day only bind them closer to your heart.
5. Clubs for roller coaster enthusiasts exist for adults too.
6. Coffee and Ice Cream is the breakfast of Champions.
7. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" stirs so much in my heart, words can't even explain.
8. God has created all people with certain personalities to bless others. One of these personalities are the goofballs. And I am so thankful for them.
9. In a community like Jesus Film, if they don't recognize you it's because you are either new or you're a recluse. Luckily, I'm new.
10. "God will not leave u stranded." A simple text message can make your week.
11. Praying is talking to God. His word is God talking to you. One without the other is just a one way conversation.
12. Anime can be used for God. Yay!
13. Being the baby at the workplace isn't something to be sad about. This way you get to have many older siblings in Christ to learn from.
14. If you try to aim a projectile, you will hit a wall with it and it will come flying back to you.
15. If God used Moses to work his wonders, think what he can do with you.
16. Orlando weather = sunny/humid, rain, sunny/humid, night
17. Mewithoutyou's new CD is hilarious yet deep and As Cities Burn's new CD is thought provoking and beautifully arranged. (had to put a music comment somewhere in here)
18. If you can't sleep it is probably because you are anxious. And if you are that anxious it is because you aren't praying over something with full reliance on God.
19. Weird birds = weird sounds.
20. If you can't find your boss from 12:30 - 2:30 it's because he is playing volleyball.
21. If you put your lunch on the top shelf of the fridge, it will freeze.
22. James 1:17 may have the coolest imagery in the NT besides Philippians 2:15
23. If you watch parts of the Jesus film long enough, you will see some pretty silly things. Like the body in the tomb breathing.
24. Bounce houses are not sturdy when you weigh over 70 pounds.
25. A new work place is nothing to be afraid of.

And there you have it. More to come I'm sure.

Never Too Old for Bounce Houses

I had a sweet weekend of relaxation with great fellowship. Saturday I lounged by the pool and realized that in Orlando you can get as tan in one hour as you can in one whole weekend in the sun in Missouri. That night I went to my boss' house to have dinner. His family is so funny and precious. We talked and probably played the longest game of Apples to Apples that I ever played in my life. It was fun to talk about places we've gone to serve. They have been to Santa Cruz, Bolivia and it was a gift to share that experience with them. Also got to talk anime and Joss Whedon's firefly. Who knew?
Sunday was laid back and I started listening to Brookside's latest sermon series. Definitely gave some food for thought. I will try to keep up but I'm determined to try and find a church home for this summer starting this Sunday. I know there's a church near here... there are signs. lol.
Sunday was also Cassie's 20th birthday party. And to celebrate such there was a bounce house.
Once you get over the age of 13 bounce houses get less able to withstand the bouncing. This was apparent by the number of times it collapsed.

Collapsing bounce house

Inside the collapsed bounce house

After all the fun and games I went with her to her church's college service. The spirit was definitely in that place. You could feel it stirring your heart. In the events of the past few days I have decided I am going to pursue people. I am sitting back hoping people come and gather around me, that's not right. I need to create community while I'm here. Luckily I already have people coming around me, which is sweet.
Today I finished the rough cut for Magdalena.... but apparently it will no longer be called this so we came up with some new names. "Not Magdalena" "Woman, why are you smiling?" "Happy Women" "What Women Really Want" "Same Film Different Name" This is why we are in post-production and not in charge of title making. I thought we should just go for "Sample Text" because that's what popped up first on the screen. But oh well. Tomorrow I help build a computer. If Orlando is blown off the map you'll know what happened.

Just a world away

So I have been in Orlando for almost a week. To think I was so anxious before this started. Maybe because I did it again. I packed my things and moved to a place where I didn't know anyone (except for Cassie who lives about 40 min away.) So let me give you the whole break down.
Saturday drove down to Atlanta with my family. Saw signs for the "biggest Superman statue." (my family stopped at it on their way back.) Realized that Tennessee drivers are completely insane.
Sunday drove down to Orlando with my mom. Met the Warnekes, who are amazingly sweet for opening up their home to me.
Monday started with taking my mom to the airport, taking pictures with some Orlando icons...

I saw Mickey and didn't even have to go to Disney World!

My boyfriend the astronaut

Snow White and I

... and sharing goodbyes with my mom. I headed to meet Mike and his wife Linda at Campus Crusade headquarters so I could meet the man I had been communicating with for months and he could show me where I was to go. Everyone is still shocked that I went in on Memorial Day to get a mini tour. Little do they know it was for my own anxiety because I was so nervous that I didn't know where to go. CC headquarters is huge. And the Jesus Film side is kinda confusing if you don't know where you are going. But I have a desk that I can use if I ever need it and an amazing studio to work in. Sorry to disappoint all you Mac fans but I will mostly be working on a PC (the HD project will probably be on the Mac tho - yes there are both.) After my mini tour I met up with Cassie. We went to her church's Memorial Day picnic, the beach (just to watch the ocean), Ron Jon (the original), and just genuinely hanging out.

The beach!

One thing I have found out about Florida is that "the Sunshine State" motto is a lie. Don't believe it. Well you can believe it but once it gets around 3pm you'll know it's false.
Tuesday = starting work. Incredibly nerve wracking. Until I meet the people I'm supposed to work with. Probably one of the silliest bunches of people. All extremely talented. It was a whirlwind day of tours, and meeting people. With a delightful break of me driving 4 of the guys I work with to a thai restaurant. The food was great and the conversation revolved around really ridiculous stuff. I'm pretty sure a flux-capacitor was mentioned somewhere in there.
Tuesday night I met up with three of the women from the JF traveling team to go see Hillsong United. First off, these women are hilarious. Secondly, Hillsong worship is AMAZING. I could have continued all night but after almost 3 hours they had to stop.
The past three days I have worked on Magdalena. Which I'm pretty sure will become my baby by the end of this. I really cherish this film. It's the Jesus film but with new footage so that it is told from the viewpoint of Mary Magdalene. It is geared towards women and is a beautiful film of redemption that women all over the world need to hear.
Prayer is a huge part of the Jesus Film. It's beautiful to watch/listen to these people pray. It is also so encouraging to hear, "I'll pray for you" on a daily basis and know that as soon as they leave your presence they are praying for you. We even prayed in a traffic jam. There were hints of humor but it was real. And it struck me.
This whole week has struck me. And there's more to come, which is so amazing.